AJS & Matchless Owners Club

East Suffolk Section

santa 2011

xmasbikeHo!Ho!Ho!  Well what a surprise for Albert recently, when he checked over his lovely old 350cc AJS!  There on saddle stood Santa himself.

“I have a bit of a problem” announced the red, bearded one “I had the team all in place, tacked up and ready to go.  Sleigh polished and ready for a trial run after its annual lay up. I heaved myself aboard and shouted Dasher!  Dancer!  But nothing happened.  There was no “go” in them at all”  He muttered something inaudible into his beard and carried on “But I had spotted your wonderful machine whilst passing overhead previously and I wondered if I could ask a favour?  Could I borrow the AJS for my special trip that’s coming up soon?”

Now, Albert being an accommodating sort of fellow, he didn’t want to disappoint, but a few thoughts were passing through his head,

“I’m sure I can help, Santa, but I’m just having a think about your starting technique, as you described it.”

The bearded one was all agog.

“You see many fail to appreciate this, but reindeer and old British bikes have many similarities, including messy exhaust systems leaving foul deposits behind…”

“Would you mind getting to the point?” interjected Santa,

“Well” said Albert, lovingly fondling his copy of the Jampot Spares catalogue, “I advise giving up this Dasher, Dancer approach as your team may have worn their pistons out over all the years and a new attack may be what’s wanted. It always works for me if a first time start doesn’t happen……I just shout “Donner **%%!! and Blitzen @@~~*^!! and give it a damned good kick!”

That night Albert felt he heard his advice repeated high in the distance, followed by a series of yelps and grunts, and lo, there appeared  a glittering sleigh above the trees of East Suffolk!  A small tear came to his eye as he contemplated the recent increase in the spares scheme fee, and he knew in his heart that it was really all worth while…….!

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL FROM EAST SUFFOLK SECTION.  KEEP YOUR BIKE IN GOOD FETTLE AS YOU NEVER KNOW WHO MAY NEED IT.

(the above starting technique may be subject to a fuller description in our early April Technical Tips)